first and foremostly i would like to extend my sincere apologies to friends whom i have neglected over these past few weeks. as lame as an excuse as this might sound, i have been packed to the brim with work and dance that i'm starting to believe that i could be superwoman. okay kidding.

i am writing a script for guangyang primary, a musical. and i'm editing and extending a few others. okay so it's children's plays, can't really call myself a playwright right, but still, it's been a challenge just making sure none of my lines sound too cliched, or lame, or downright ridiculous. not to mention the constant pressure i've been getting from my boss, reminding me of the deadlines. i now know how lailatron felt.

as busy as i might sound, and as tired as i am, i've come to realise that despite my complaints, i really do love my job very very much. and well at this point of time, i really appreciate the workload to keep my mind fully occupied on something productive rather than allow myself the luxury of time to bum around and ponder upon a few things that might have upset or disappointed me recently. the company of my kids, as annoying as they can be sometimes, is the best remedy to everything.

i'm excited about performing at esplanade next weekend. although, it's a bloody darn short item, it's gona be a new experience i guess. come for the show if you want people! soundwaves 2008: 12 to 12 at the esplanade theatre, 4th and 5th july. dont come to watch me, come to watch the whole production. it's quite fun.

and not to mention my trip to vietnam. finally a trip! okay so i'm going there for dance, not exactly a holiday but by my standards, it's close enough.

oh i watched an air guitar competition last saturday at esplanade powerhhouse. funniest shit ever. yes you, you heard it right, AIR GUITAR COMPETIITION. loves it.

okay back to scriptwriting.

ive been so lazy to update. just been busy with work ever since after exams. i think my friends are right. i dont knw when to say no and when to take a break. so i shouldnt actually be complaining that im tired right since im bringing all this upon myself. but honestly, work is not an option. i have to work. i just have to. if not how am i going to support myself. dance is perhaps just a matter of passion. i should learn to say no to doing certain shows if my schedule is too packed for the week. but you knw, it's a cumulative thing. the more shows i do, the more practices i go for, would prove my dedication, and would give me enough practice to improve. and with improvement i get to experience more, be exposed to more things. and that's what i want. to go somewhere, to progress. not just to remain stagnant at one place and at one level.

s7gem camp was fun. i never fail to be amazed by all these smart kids who have knowledge beyond their years. amazing what goes on in the minds of some primary school kids. they read so widely. i am quite ashamed i dont knw half as much as they do. i hope to get some pictures soon to post.

i am so upset about the change of date for dance reflections. i am supposed to be in london or liverpool or paris during that time but noooo, i have to be here, dancing. bleagh. plus, my saving plan for the trip is not working well. all the loaning and impulsive shopping, and the cabbing is leaving my pocket very dry. maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

BUT NO WHAT AM I SAYING! it is only an easy matter of postponing the trip by a few days. i need to lose weight anyway so i should stop splurging on food and as long as i dont clean up my room and clear my cupboard i should not be buying anymore clothes. okay that's my new saving plan. london and paris here i come! and liverpool. =) *hides from nani*

off to spend this rare lazy afternoon watching movies online. i am loving my mac thank you.

my current favourite song because of the aptness of it. =D

In the heat of summer sunshine
I miss you like nobody else
In the heat of summer sunshine
I kiss you, and nobody needs to knows.

so much for wanting to relax and unwind after exams.

since my last paper last friday i have spent every single day this week at CHS running after bratty but extremely adorable p2 boys, and on top of that had to teach at bukit timah and guangyang, and also the centre obviously. then there's this very interesting dance workshop which i am attending at victoria theatre over this weekend. next week is birthday celebrations week and then there's a show on sunday which i havent learnt steps for! what the hell am i doing to myself seriously!

been doing a lot of quick shopping in between, from cotton on! loves it! problem is, so does everyone else. i probably have the same clothes as half the girls in singapore. oh wells. what the heck. as long as i look good. lol.

i honestly am disappointed. i dont knw whether in myself or in others, a bit of both i guess. disappointed in myself for being dumb and naive enough to believe in some people and give them the benefit of the doubt despite the whole world telling me to do otherwise. i guess i kinda cant be bothered now because it happened quite some time ago and it's long over, but i dont knw, i guess finding out the real naked truth still hurts somewhat. i think i should stop being so fucking trusting all the freaking time. i am so easily duped. i walk around with an invisible sign that says "I'M GULLIBLE, COME DUPE ME".

to make myself feel better i have borrowed FRIENDS season 6 and 7 from the library. i shall go drown my sorows now in some good ol' slapstick humor and witty comments.

this is what i did on labour day.

so yesterday my old maid, cici, came over to my house to visit. i had a nice long chat with her, updating each other about our lives. turns out she found a nice indonesian guy and they've been seeing each other for almost a year already and she plans to go back to indonesia and get married once she's done with one more year of working with this brazilian family. but the best thing is, she intends to continue studying. she needs to go through 3 years of high school first which she is willing to after which she will pursue her studies at a university. as she was telling me this i felt an immense pride for her and her dreams and her patience. i know she's had to go through a lot with her family, and her father being sick. and to think that at her age and in her situation she still has found motivation to continue studying has just made me respect her so much more than i already have. and it makes me thankful for what i have. i pray hard all goes well for her.

sitting at the library now forcing myself to mug. i miss dance A LOT. okay so i did do a bit of dancing for kusumawangi but that was only a little and it has far from satisfied my itchy feet. went with fazli to toa payoh cc that day to watch era rehearse for their item for festival tari serumpun and i am SOOO jealous because the dance is so nice and i could be dancing for it if not for my exams!!! i cannot cannot wait for exams to be over. i need to feel the excitement of being in a dance studio and immensing myself in the movement. although i do many a time face the wrath of cikgu osman because of my unsatisfactory technique or agility, i feel most at peace when i am dancing. best feeling in the world.

i am in school now mugging (obviously i am currently distracted) and i have been in school since yesterday. this is how much i am lacking in a social life at the moment. being in the library til 7.30am in the morning together with other no-lifers (a.k.a hazi, hidayat, latiff and mardi...lol) does not spell fun at all. it's okay. 9th of may. the end of hell and the beginning of freedom.

lately i've been finding myself counting down to june. it's a funny mix of emotions. happiness, excitement, anxiety, uncertainty, anticipation...all meshed up into one. it's scary, not knowing what lies ahead but i think should stop thinking about what will happen in the future and just live in the moment. because it is the now that is makes me smile and want to stay up well into the wee hours of the morning and sacrifice my beauty sleep. haha.

okay back to mugging.

=)