perhaps i'm being overly sensitive, or maybe self-indulgent. but i think it's pretty clear. i'm not in the picture anymore. whether i was pushed out, or whether i walked out myself, that's up to every individual's interpretation of the situation. everything's cool on the surface, but yeah, who the fuck are we kidding...look deeper and you'll find that things are far from okay. maybe it's what's best. or not. it's partly my fault. but i'm tired of being misunderstood.

i need to be patient. more importantly i need to learn to be tough and not let small things get to me, break me down. please God, give me strength.